


Eminence

by typicallyriarkle



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, M/M, Popularity, high five, it all works out in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:11:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9306728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typicallyriarkle/pseuds/typicallyriarkle
Summary: Lucas Friar, home coming king, captain of the baseball team and basketball team and as well as vice president of student government . He has good grades, great friends, a beautiful girlfriend and his parents are proud of him, he has everything he could ever want.Farkle Minkus, photographer for the school year book, vice president of the debate club, he starred in nearly every school play and always hosted the best parties. Farkle was cool and collected and the biggest flirt in the school, his nerdy qualities only made him more likeable and despite being terrible at sports the football team loved him.What happens when the two most popular boys in the high school social class fall in love?OrAfter unexpectedly hooking up at a party Lucas and Farkle have to learn how to come to terms with their new found feelings for each other as well as their sexualities.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So if you didn't know Larkle is my favourite crack ship, probably ever so it was kind of inevitable I would end up posting a fic about them one day. 
> 
> P.S. I love Isadora Smackle with all my heart but she will not be in this fic very much. Not because I don’t love and respect her character but because I just have so much trouble writing her character and I really don't wanna do her character any injustice. Anyway just thought i’d clear that up, happy reading :)

The music is thumping through the large penthouse apartment so loud, Lucas feels it through his entire body. The apartment is filled with teenagers, every body who is anybody in the junior and senior classes is there. Mid-terms are over and its time to celebrate.

Lucas Friar is an important part of the high school social class. Home coming king, captain of the baseball team and basketball team and as well as vice president of student government and as long as the debate club president and hottie Isadora Smackle didn’t beat him, he’d be president in his senior year. He has good grades, great friends, a beautiful girlfriend and his parents are proud of him, he has everything he could ever want. He should be happy.

Riley Matthews is clinging to his side, his arm slung around her shoulder bringing her close as they kiss in front of all their classmates. He kisses her and kisses her and kisses her. They have been dating for so long it almost feels like nothing.

Riley Matthews friend of five years, girlfriend of three, home coming queen, editor of the year book and school news paper. She controlled everything. Everyone wanted to be on Riley’s good side, and Lucas being her boyfriend put him in the good books of a whole group of people that he would’ve never reached as solely ‘Lucas Friar the Jock’. Riley rounded out Lucas in all the ways he needed.

The song playing throughout the room then transitions from a recent trap song to a nineties pop and Lucas feels Riley jump up slightly against him in excitement, accidentally biting his lip. “I love this song,” she shouts over the music pulling away from her boyfriend, Lucas laughs bringing a hand up to his mouth to soothe his now throbbing lip. “Come dance with me!”

“You dance. I’m going to get us more drinks,” he tells her, nudging her to the dance floor. Perfectly eradicating himself from a situation of potential embarrassment. Lucas Friar was good at a lot of things. Dancing was not one of them and sure he wanted his girlfriend to be happy but embarrassing himself in front of everyone they know was not worth a simple smile from a drunk Riley. No matter how nice of a smile she had.

She sticks her tongue out at him as she walks to a clump of people dancing to the beat. He shakes his head at his adorable girlfriend before looking around the room. His eyes land on Farkle Minkus, Cassidy Jacobs head cheerleader, on his arm. The two are taking shots with a group of football jocks all gathered around a table full of expensive alcohol. Farkle Minkus host of the night’s festivities, widely popular and widely loved. He should be a nerd. When they were in middle school Lucas was sure Farkle was going to have his work cut out for him entering high school but the boy was doing just fine, more than fine. Farkle was the photographer for the school yearbook, he was vice president of the debate club, he starred in nearly every school play, he always hosted the best parties and Lucas could admit, the boy was hot. Farkle was cool and collected and the biggest flirt in the school, his nerdy qualities only made him more likable and despite being terrible at sports the football team loved him. No one ever had anything bad to say about Farkle, his only ‘flaw’ was his inability to form romantic relationships with the constant array of girls around him. Lucas didn’t really see that as a flaw though, Farkle was popular enough, he didn’t need a string of cheerleader ex-girlfriends holding him back.

Farkle catches him staring with a look of amusement on his face, Lucas simply nods across the room at his friend. Lucas could remember a time when he and Farkle were best friends. Lucas had never had a friend like Farkle before. They were so close and open to each other, they told each other everything and Lucas knew he could always count on Farkle back then just like Farkle could count on him. Once the entered high school though, things changed, at first only a little, they stopped having time to do home work together and then Farkle stopped coming over for dinner like he usually did and the next thing they knew the two never had any time to hang out with each other one on one. The still saw each other a lot with their group of friends but it wasn’t the same as being alone. They would go on double dates together in the ninth grade, when Lucas and Riley had first started dating and Farkle was still dating Isadora Smackle. But then Farkle and Smackle broke up and Farkle started distancing himself from Lucas. Lucas thought he was pushing everyone away, but it turned out Farkle was still close with the rest of their friends. He tried not to think about that part of the story.

Now in the middle of junior year Lucas still thinks of Farkle as a close friend and maybe if they never went through that period of extreme friendship things wouldn’t be so strained now, nevertheless, they’re still friends and with the craziness of high school and the struggle of popularity Lucas is glad he has good friends like Farkle. Even if their friendship had a little bit of tension Farkle was a better friend then the whole baseball team put together.

Farkle winks at Lucas across the room before turning to the cheerleader beside him and whispering in her hear. Lucas watches her giggle at whatever Farkle had said before leaning in to kiss him. Farkle offers her a peck but quickly turns away before she can take things any further. Lucas watches Farkle lead on one of the hottest girls he’s ever seen and he shakes his head. Farkle was the definition of a fuck boy.

“Lucas Friar!” Zay yells walking towards him with Maya trailing behind him, taking Lucas’ attention away from the boy across the room.

“Hey,” Lucas says offering his fist to his two friends as they come up beside him.

Isaiah “Zay” Babineaux, childhood best friend, cross country star, star pitcher of the varsity baseball team. Maya Hart friend of five years, girlfriend of Zay Babineaux, and best friend of Riley Matthews. Maya liked to stay under the radar at Abigail Adams but Lucas happened to know she was an incredible dancer and artist with the singing voice of a bird too match her beautiful face. 

“What you doing all by your lonesome, Huckleberry?” Maya asks hitting his fist with hers, Zay doing the same after her.

“I was just watching Riley dance,” Lucas tells them, lying straight through his teeth.

“I saw you watching Farkle and Cassidy, no need to lie dude, Cassidy is fucking hot,” Zay says placing his arm over Maya’s shoulders. Maya in turn punching her boyfriend in the ribs. “What was that for?” He groans, rubbing his hands over the newly forming bruise.

“I’m standing right here,” Maya practically yells, pushing Zay’s arm off her shoulders. Lucas would be lying if he said he didn’t see this coming. Every time Maya drank she seemed to itch to argue, even over things that didn’t typically bother her.

“I’m sorry, Cassidy is hot. What? You want me to lie like Lucas?” Zay asks speaking with his hands.

“Hey don’t bring me into this,” Lucas pleads lifting his hands up in surrender.

“Shut it, Sundance,” Maya threatens, pushing her closed fist in his face. She turns back to Zay her arms crossed over her chest as she speaks. “I don’t like when you call other girls hot right in front of me. Do it on your own time.”

“Aw, Maya, Don’t worry. You’re hot too,” Lucas practically coos, hugging Maya from behind. Half comforting and half making fun of his friend.

“You had your chance, Ranger Rick,” Maya drawls, pushing her body back into his to get him to let go. He laughs at her use of his favourite nickname and the reference to their brief fling back in middle school.

“Maya, babe-“

“Don’t call me babe when I’m mad at you,” she growls cutting him off. Geez for someone so small she sure was terrifying, Lucas thinks for probably the hundredth time since he met the fiery blonde.

“Babe, you love me, I love you, me calling a cheerleader hot doesn’t make a difference. Kill me for having eyes.”

“You’re not helping yourself,” Lucas warned running his fingers slowly threw his hair, making sure everything was in place.

“No, Lucas,” Maya stops him holding her hand up. “I wanna see where he goes with this.”

“Thank you. Now as I was saying, me understanding that Cassidy Jacobs is a hot piece of ass does not in any way diminish my appreciation for you, as my hot piece of ass. Just like understanding that our buddy Lucas over here is a hot piece of ass as well,” Zay explains himself, pointing at Lucas as he talks about him.

“Gee thanks,” Lucas laughs, bringing his hand to the left side of his chest, clutching his heart. Usually if any one else were around, Lucas would be expected to just give a simple nod of his head in acknowledgement or act appauled at a compliment from his male friend. But now with only Zay and Maya watching he can react however he wants to. He can actually act like a goof without fear of rejection because these friends, they love him for who he really is, not who everyone else saw him as. His friends were what kept him going when everything got to be too much.

“You’re so goddamn stupid,” Maya growls, moving closer to Zay repeatedly hitting him on his chest starting off hard but ending up just being taps as she starts to laugh.

“You love me,” Zay laughs gripping her wrists to stop her decreasingly rough punches.

“Maybe,” she shrugs hugging his side. Lucas watches his friends in amusement. If you would’ve told him back in middle school that Zay and Maya would end up being the cutest couple in their junior class Lucas would’ve laughed his head off in response but looking at them now its hard to ever imagine them as anything else.

“So bud, what ya drinking?” Zay asks pointing to Lucas’ empty hands.

Before Lucas has a chance to answer though Riley is running up to him grabbing his hand in hers. “Lucas, you never came to dance with me,” she pouts tugging on his arm.

“Give him a break Riles, we all know Lucas can’t dance to save his life,” Maya says with a shrug. 

“Lucas is a great dancer,” Riley argues and Lucas has to fight the urge he has to laugh at his very supportive but very wrong girlfriend. Zay and Maya apparently don’t fight it and erupt in a fit of laughter at the statement. “GUYS!” Riley scolds.

“It’s okay, I know I’m a bad dancer I can live with it.”

The night goes on like nights like these always do. Maya and Riley drink too much. Lucas and Zay take care of them. Some guy pukes in a plant. Farkle does his rounds, makes sure everyone is having fun. Seniors John Charman and Peter Barduga win yet another beer pong tournament. They get a noise complaint and people start to file out.

The apartment is mostly empty by 3am and that’s the way Farkle likes it. He’s fine hosting every month but he does not want to be dealing with loud teenagers up until the sunrise.

Lucas, Zay and Maya are lounging on the finally empty couch while Farkle walks his friends from the year book committee out. Riley is on the couch opposite them with Cassidy Jacobs, asking her how it feels to be held at the top of the cheerleading pyramid. Lucas knows that Cassidy must think that after the rest of them leave her and Farkle would be hooking up. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her how wrong her assumptions are. If Lucas knows anything about Farkle its that he never hooks up at parties he’s hosting. Ever. After hosting a party all Farkle wants to do is sleep.

“Guys, I just realized we’ve never played spin the bottle,” Riley announces to the group, slightly louder than needed. “We gotta play, it’s like an integral part of being a teenager.”

“Riles,” Maya groans, hiding her face in Zay’s shoulder.

“Are you sure about this?” Lucas asks his girlfriend with a raise of his brow. He can’t see why she would want to kiss anyone of their friends, especially after a night of drinking morning breath inducing liquor but then again to Riley it wasn’t about the kissing it was about the experience. 

“Sure about what?” Farkle asks re-entering the room looking to Lucas for an explanation.

“Riley wants to play spin the bottle.”

“That sounds fun,” Farkle says with a shrug.

“Yeah, that sounds fun” Cassidy pipes up from her spot beside Riley. Figures she wouldn’t have any input on the situation until Farkle stated his opinion. God Lucas was so sick of bone head cheerleaders only out for one thing. This is why Farkle needed a girlfriend, so girls couldn’t use him for his reputation and sex. Farkle was great and none of the girls he was ever with ever appreciated what made him so likable in the first place all they saw was his looks. It made Lucas sick. Sure Lucas could be a dick sometimes but using people for sex drew a line he wasn't willing to cross.

“Yay,” Riley exclaims jumping off the couch to sit cross legged on the ground.

“Lucas pass me that bottle,” Farkle asks pointing his hand to the floor beside Lucas’ feet where a quarter filled vodka bottle sits. Lucas throws it to him and watches as he tilts his head back exposing his neck and chugs the remainder of the liquid without so much as a wince. It hurts Lucas to even watch.

“Okay everybody, get in a circle,” Riley nearly demands from her spot on the ground.

“What are we twelve?” Maya asks with a raise of her brow as she drags herself and Zay to the floor to sit with Riley. Maya yawned as the couple sat against the dark leather couch, Lucas smiled at his sleepy friends. Maya always got like this after drinking, it was kind of adorable to see the tiger about to go to sleep.

“Those are the rules of the game, Peaches.”

Once they are situated into somewhat of a circle Riley grabs the vodka bottle from Farkle and places it in the middle of their configuration. “Okay, I’ll go first.” Riley spins the bottle and everyone waits as it spins for almost 15 seconds, seeming like forever when all the majority of them want to do is sleep. It finally stops, landing on Maya. “C’mere Peaches,” Riley laughs crawling closer to her best friend dropping a quick peck upon her lips as if they’ve done it a million times before. Which they probably have.

They go along like that.

Maya’s spin lands on Zay. Lucky Zay.

Zay’s spin lands on Cassidy. Not so lucky Zay.

Cassidy’s spin lands on Maya. Lucky Zay. Not so lucky Maya.

Maya’s spin lands on Zay. Again. Lucas is beginning to think this whole game was rigged in Zay’s favour.

Zay’s spin lands on Lucas. Oh shit.

Lucas turns pale as he stares at the empty bottle staring directly at him. “Really?” he asks no one in particular.

“Don’t even pretend you don’t want this,” Zay laughs as he grabs Lucas’ neck bringing him closer. Lucas closes his eyes bracing himself for the worst. This wouldn’t really be a big deal if Cassidy weren’t there. Him and Zay kiss. Neither of them remember it in the morning. End of story. But with Cassidy there, Lucas knows, he just knows that this will be all over the school by Monday and he could kiss everything he had worked so hard for goodbye.

“I love you, dude,” Zay says before placing a peck on his forehead. Lucas opens his eyes to see Zay back in his spot beside Maya, the two of them laughing.

“God Huckleberry, don’t be so damn homophobic,” Maya says with a shake of her head.

“I’m not homophobic,” Lucas defends, casting his gaze to look at Cassidy and see her reaction but she’s too busy looking at Farkle to even notice Lucas’ reddening cheeks.

“Whatever, just spin,” Maya shrugs, clearly not in the right mind set to argue.

Lucas’ spin lands on Farkle and his stomach drops to the ground. He see’s Farkle rolls his eyes at the empty bottle in front of him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lucas groans running his hands through his hair. There was no way Cassidy was going to miss this one. Her eyes hadn't left Farkle the entire night for christ sakes. Lucas slowly begins crawling over to Farkle. Really. Really not wanting to do this.

“God Huckleberry, don’t be so homophobic,” Farkle says as Lucas gets closer, repeating Maya’s words. Before Lucas has a chance to respond Farkle is leaning upwards placing the quickest peck on his dry lips. And Lucas is frozen in place. His whole social life going up in flames around him. He can just see it now, all over twitter. ‘Lucas Friar is Gay’, no more class president for Lucas.

But Farkle is smart, before he’s even sat down completely from kissing Lucas he’s pulling Cassidy to him, kissing her deeply his hand in her hair, his tongue in her mouth. Lucas feels a shiver roll down his spine at the site of Farkle’s tongue entering her mouth. Farkle is a genius.

“Excuse me, Genius. Can we get on with the game? Some of us have cranky girlfriends that need to sleep,” Zay shouts, trying to get Farkle to stop kissing Cassidy to spin the bottle.

“Yeah, Farkle I’m not leaving until someone lands on me,” Riley says from her spot beside him hitting his arm.

“Geez okay,” Farkle groans pulling away from Cassidy as she blushes as if she doesn’t love the attention.

Farkle’s spin lands on Riley.

“Yay,” they all shout in unison.

“Buckle up Farkley,” Riley says pulling him by the neck closer to her. His lips meet hers far more perfectly than either of them have the right to in their drunken states. Her hands moving all over his chest and as he cups the sides of her face to get a better angle Lucas feels himself turn green.

Watching the two kiss, far longer than necessary, stirs something in Lucas. He is almost unable to control his jealousy even after they have separated. He and Riley have been together so long and he never expected to care this much about her kissing someone else but as he watches them it hits him hard. So much harder than he would’ve ever expected.

By the time everyone has their coats on, ready to leave it’s 4am. Maya is practically sleep walking as Zay pushes her through the spacious apartment to the elevator. Lucas envies Maya as she rests her head against her boyfriends shoulder. Every time Farkle hosts a party one of the four friends always stays behind to help Farkle clean up the garbage filtered around the apartment. Today was Lucas’ turn and normally he didn’t really mind because it meant bonding time with his friend he never really got to see all that much anymore but today for some reason all he wants to do is sleep. Cassidy seems to think she’s going to be spending the night as she hangs back with Farkle and Lucas as Riley, Maya and Zay entered the elevator. Lucas hears Farkle whisper that he has work in the morning but he’ll call her after he’s done. Lucas almost chokes out a laugh as he listens to Farkle bullshit the girl. Farkle doesn’t even have a job and Lucas is pretty certain the two have never exchanged numbers. Riley blows Lucas a kiss from her spot in the elevator and the gang goes home.

The clean up doesn’t take very long, Farkle has had so many parties since high school started he has developed a fool proof system. Farkle always left at least a day between his parties and his parents return from whatever business related trip they were on that particular week so he would have time to get cleaning ladies in to handle anything major, that Farkle really didn't have the energy for. All the boys had to worry about was picking up garbage and empty bottles.

They had cleaned all the rooms in the large apartment and all that was left was Farkle’s bedroom.

“I don’t understand. This place is so big, why do people feel the need to come and hang out in my room?” Farkle asks, not expecting an answer as grabs a beer bottle off his desk tripping over his own feet slightly as he moves over to his coffee table in front of his TV.

“They probably don’t even realize it’s a bedroom,” Lucas supplies as he grabs empty cups off the floor and into the trash bag he’s been trekking around with him.

The two boys fall into a silence as they clean up his room, thankfully the bed is still in perfect condition. Lucas doesn’t even want to imagine what cleaning up a ‘slept in’ bed would be like.

“So you kissed Riley tonight?” Lucas asks attempting to make conversation. The last time he checked Farkle was in love with Riley.

“Yeah. Whatever, I also kissed you,” Farkle says with a shrug of his shoulder throwing the almost full garbage bag he was holding to the ground.

“But it’s Riley.”

“You’re not mad are you?” Farkle asks taking a seat at one of his chair stationed in front of his television set while Lucas looks down at him.

“No, not at all,” Lucas reassures him quickly making it clear he wasn’t trying to start a fight. Farkle had a temper when drunk and pairing that with Lucas’ twenty-four hour temper never went well.

“Jealous?” Farkle asks raising his eyebrow.

“No.”

“You sure?” he asks standing up from his spot in the chair, moving into Lucas’ personal space.

“Yes, I am sure,” Lucas groans growing frustrated with his drunk friend.

“Well, that’s good because she should get at least some love, I mean with you as a boyfriend I can’t imagine she gets much satisfaction,” Farkle spits out walking away from Lucas but Lucas follows not able to contain his anger anymore.

“Farkle, what the fuck?” He almost yells pushing him back at the shoulders.

“You know I’m right, pretty boy,” Farkle yells back, pushing him the exact same way

“Farkle,” Lucas breathes trying to regain any sort of calmness, not wanting to fight with one of his only true friends.

“Nothing to say?” Farkle pushes, not giving up.

“Shut up, Farkle,” Lucas threatens, bringing his hands up to press unto either side of his head applying pressure on his throbbing temples, attempting to not lose his uncontrollable temper.

“I’ll shut up when you learn how to keep your girlfriend fucking happy.”

“Farkle, you’re drunk,” Lucas reasons with Farkle as well as himself as he paces the room.

“And you’re a pussy,” Farkle says with as much malace as Lucas has ever heard and that’s when everything turns white and before he knows it he’s using his fore arm to push Farkle up against the wall.

“Take that back,” he threatens raising his fist inches from Farkle’s face.

“You gonna hit me, Lucas? Do it, do it, I dare you,” Farkle shouts, a clear challenge in his voice.

“Take it back,” he repeats not lowering his fist. He knows how fast he can end this, one swing and Farkle is unconsious and the chances of him remembering any of this are slim to none. But Lucas doesn’t want to be that guy anymore, he’s going to remain in control.

“Make me.”

With those final words he feels himself lose the semblance of control he had left, unable to keep his anger at bay anymore. Lucas closes his eyes the feeling of release washing over him as he gives in to the anger. It feels like every other time he’s done so but not. He feels relief and shame and something else, something completely foreign. 

Lucas doesn’t even realize what he’s doing as he removes his arm from Farkle’s chest and pulls him in by the neck with both hands, smashing their lips together with a neediness Lucas didn't even know he possessed. Farkle freezes against him and Lucas almost recoils as he feels the rejection about to engulf him but he doesn’t have the chance because then Farkle is kissing him back with just as much fever, pushing his tongue delicatley through Lucas’ lips and into his mouth, sliding across Lucas’ own.

And then everything clicks. For so long Lucas had been lost. He had become a person he didn't even recognize, hiding behind a persona. He wore a mask every day of his life, and each day he wore it he moved farther away from who he truly was. Farkle was always the one that reminded Lucas of who he really was and as they grew apart Lucas had lost himself. But being there kissing Farkle, he’s never felt more like himself. A new version of himself, a better version, the guy he wants to be. 

Farkle holds all the answers he’s been looking for, he’s dangling them right within his grasp teasing him. But he doesn’t have to reach, they’re right in front of him, setting him on fire as their lips crash against his. Farkle is the answer. 

He realizes now it was Farkle who he wanted. Not Riley or Maya or any other girl. He just wanted him. 

He nearly explodes with everything he’s feeling as Farkle’s hands caress his back leaving shivers all over his body. This is nothing like their kiss from before, it’s everything that kiss wasn’t. This kiss leaves nothing to be desired,it isn't rushed and they aren't hiding, for once in his life Lucas isn't hiding. 

He runs his hand through the younger boys hair, gripping the back and he wants to shout and yell and tell every one he knows that it is Farkle Minkus who is making him feel something, for once in his life he feels something. 

He’d listen to Zay go on and on about how kissing Maya and being with her was everything he could’ve ever dreamed of, how it was the ultimate form of intimacy and Lucas never understood any of what he was saying but he nodded along anyway. But now he get’s it, get’s how one kiss can unlock everything and change how you feel completely.

Lucas lets Farkle guide him towards his bed, never breaking the kiss. At first their kisses were rough and demanding and rushed but now, now Farkle is cupping his face in his hands so gently, holding him there, controlling him as he places his lips over his long and slow, tortuously long and slow, over and over. Lucas groans into Farkle’s opened mouth, agonizing over the want he feels deep within his gut. 

“Shh,” Farkle urges against the other boys lips, stroking his cheek, angling his head in the way he wants, overpowering him as his tongue brushes across his lips and Lucas let’s him, let him take control. Farkle moves lower then, breaking their kiss, slowly pecking along his jaw and his neck and his collar bones setting Lucas on fire every place he touches. Farkle is breaking him apart piece by piece, only to put him back together after the torture.

Then Farkle is stepping away completely leaving Lucas floating unanchored in the middle of the large room struggling not to whine at the loss. When Farkle is touching him he feels all his worries shrink, the nagging voices and pressures turn into a silence that Lucas always longed for. When Farkle is touching him it all goes away. “Come ba-“ he begins but feels the words get caught in his throat as Farkle swiftly removes his shirt revealing his never ending torso. Looking at Farkle shirtless is nothing like looking at Riley, his long torso going on for miles, v lines leading down to his even longer legs. Riley is all soft and smooth but Farkle, god Farkle is nothing like Riley in all the best ways. He’s all hard edges and firm skin and everything and Lucas reaches out subconsciously, brushing his fingers across the milky skin of his hip bone, marvelling at the feel of the boys skin beneath his finger tips.

‘Stop that,” Farkle almost giggles, grabbing Lucas’ hand lacing their fingers together in an attempt to stop the insistent stroking of his finger. Lucas looks down at their intertwined hands, an uncontrollable blush creeping it’s way to his cheeks, his heart beating fast against his rib cage. Lucas sighs at the feeling Farkle’s hand in his keeping him grounded there. This is exactly what Lucas needed, Farkle holding his hand, keeping him there, keeping him from getting lost in the never ending noise in his head. Lucas thinks if he can hold Farkle hand for the rest of eternity everything will somehow be okay. 

Farkle then tries to lift his hand from Lucas’ grasps, attempting to bring it upwards to stroke the older boys cheek, but Lucas tightens his grip and shakes his head firmly. Farkle raises his eyebrow at him with a questioning glance, “Lucas-” Farkle begins to say but Lucas is leaning into him pressing his lips firmly against the other boys not wanting to talk. He knows if they start talking the won't stop and Lucas will be brought out of his bubble and he’ll have to face all his thoughts and face the realities of the situation. He isn't ready to do that. Lucas distracts himself, fumbling with Farkle’s zipper of his pants, struggling with only one hand but not willing to let go of Farkle’s for anything.

“Lucas, are you sure about this?” Farkle asks, breaking the kiss they were sharing, leaning his forehead against the slightly shorter boys. 

“Yes, i’m sure. Of course I'm sure,” Lucas breathes out pushing his forehead firmer against Farkle’s. Farkle’s eyes are all he see’s, his line of vision a sea of blue, and his heart clenches as he closes his eyes tight, unable to handle the intimacy as Farkle becomes his entire world momentarily. 

Farkle once more attempts to remove his hand from Lucas’ but Lucas will not let him, squeezing his hand even tighter. Farkle looks at the boy in front of him and down at their intertwined hands and laughs. High and melodic and beautiful it sounds like a song. He’s laughing so hard he begins to lose his breath and balance, having to grab Lucas’ side with his free hand. He lays his forehead down against Lucas’ shoulder unable to keep his head up as his laughs turn silent. Lucas feels the vibrations of the silent laughter as the boy attempts to catch his breath. “Have you never held someone’s hand before?” Farkle chokes out looking up at the incredulous boy in front of him. 

“I’ve held hands before,” Lucas confirms averting his eyes as Farkle looks at him with an amused smile. He doesn’t know how to explain to Farkle the way his hand in his feels like a buoy in the middle of the atlantic ocean, or how his thumb brushing across the back of his hand stroking his veins feels like rain in the desert. He can’t put it into words. He hopes Farkle will understand that. Hopes he won't let go. 

“You have to let me go or I can’t take your shirt off,” Farkle says pressing his lips against his in a warm but fleeting kiss, his free hand stroking Lucas’ bare skin just under the hem of the fabric of his t-shirt. Lucas reluctantly releases the younger boys hand, giving him a pointed look, waiting. Farkle wastes no time, taking a small step away before lifting Lucas shirt quickly over his head, tossing it to the ground. Farkle stares at the boy in front on him in awe, biting at his already swollen lower lip. Lucas doesn’t mind being looked at, he would let Farkle stare at him for hours, but can’t he hold his hand and stare at the same time?

“Give it back,” Lucas demands, but it comes out scratchy and quiet in the over sized room sounding more like a whisper.

“How is this even fair?” Farkle groans, reaching downward to Lucas’ out stretched hand lacing their fingers together once again not taking his eyes off the other boys broad shoulders and muscular chest. 

Lucas is knocked out of his dazed state at Farkle’s self depreciating words, fighting the urge to let go of his hand and grab him on either of his shoulder to shake him and knock some much needed sense it him. “And you call me an idiot. Have you ever looked in a mirror?” Lucas asks pulling the boy closer by their intertwined hands. 

“Unfortunately,” Farkle says with the shake of his head, allowing himself to be pulled closer as Lucas wraps his arm around his waist. 

“You’re hot, Genius,” Lucas whispers, softly nudging Farkle’s nose with his own. 

“Shut up,” Farkle breathes, bringing his free hand upward stroke along Lucas’ cheek causing Lucas to shiver at the touch. 

“Make me,” he all but begs waiting for Farkle to close the small gap between them. He leans in the small distance kissing him again and again their lips meeting in what feels like a fucking harmony. 

They kiss breathlessly, like if they didn't grab unto the other in that very instant they would be gone, never to be seen again. 

They undress each other like the clothes are nothing but an obstacle, attempting to keep them apart. Thrown on the the ground in spite.

They have sex like its love, meeting intimacy in ways neither have before, greeted with a storm and a flood and something like peace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm majorly late on this update, I'm very sorry. I've been trying to stick to a schedule for the time being so hopefully I'll get the next chapter up much sooner. Thank you to everyone who has commented or left kudos it really motivates me to write, thank you for your support it is greatly appreciated. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, happy reading :)

Farkle wakes up to the smell of Lucas Friar filling his room, encapsulating him. Infiltrating his senses. 

He fights the urge to open his eyes. He knows this is just a vivid dream and if he opens his eyes it will be over. Every detail etched into the back of his brain, left there to torture him through the entirety of the day. 

Farkle had been in love with Lucas since the moment he saw him and every waking moment after their first meeting was spent trying to hide this fact from his friend. It was easy back when they were just kids but once puberty hit and Lucas somehow managed to become even hotter than already had been, containing his urges became harder and harder. He’s caught himself staring at his friend from across crowded rooms too many times to count. He’s had to curl his fingers tight around the straps of his backpack to keep from grabbing Lucas’ hand in his when they walk beside each other so many times it has become painful. He’s broke pencils attempting to contain the urge to cut the older boy off mid sentence to kiss him.

Farkle had imagine kissing Lucas in every possible circumstance, in every situation. Games of spin the bottle, drunken mistakes, through heated arguments and declarations of love. After baseball games, in crowded hallways, tutoring and banter. He had imagined the way Lucas’ rough hands would feel against his cheek, and the feeling of them running through his hair. How those same hands would pull him close or push him away depending on the particular fantasy. He had imagined his lips crashing against his, or lighting pressed or just a second of bliss in a game of spin the bottle. He had watched Lucas with Riley and Maya and any girl that happened in between, practically studied the way he touched them, so he could later uncover his findings and imagine how those touches would feel against his skin. Farkle had an entire section in his brain dedicated to Lucas Friar. 

Which is why he knew last night was a dream. There was no reality where Lucas would ever initiate their first kiss. If the two ever did kiss Farkle had no doubt in his mind he would be the one making the first move and Lucas would be recoiling in disgust. 

Farkle knew Lucas would never love him. He knew there wasn’t a chance for them.

Which is why Farkle pulled away. Why he threw himself into extra-circular’s and popular girls that didn’t care whether he was gay or straight because he was good looking either way. 

Farkle wasn’t a lady’s man or a player or a fuck boy. Farkle was gay. Farkle was in love with Lucas and if Lucas ever found out it would be the end of their friendship and Farkle’s life. 

Farkle feels a dip in the bed and freezes. He racks his brain looking for a memory of the night before. All he see’s is Lucas. He doesn’t remember hooking up with a girl but he’s naked and there’s dried sweat all over his body and his room is filled with the undeniable scent of sex. He remembers Cassidy Jacobs being glued to his side the previous night and all signs are pointing towards her. 

Farkle told himself he wouldn’t hook up with girls anymore, but Cassidy Jacobs was persistent if anything and being with her couldn’t hurt anyone. He knew she didn’t like him, he knew she was using him, at least that’s what he told himself to justify the fact that he was using her too. Using her and all the other girls he’s been with to torture himself. He knew it was wrong but couldn’t bring himself to be with guys. He knew it didn’t make him anymore straight, but being with guys would only make him want Lucas more and maybe he could pretend that he wasn’t this way. 

He told himself he was going to stop. There was nothing wrong with him for liking boys the way he was supposed to feel about girls. It was fine. But he couldn’t help himself, he couldn’t deal with the looks and stares and everyone changing the way they saw him. He told himself it didn’t matter but it did because it mattered to Lucas. 

Lucas had crafted the perfect persona of a high school jock during their three years in high school and Farkle could pretend he didn’t care about being well liked and popular all he wanted but Lucas cared and that was enough for Farkle to care. Farkle had a reputation and so did Lucas and if Farkle’s reputation included being gay he knew Lucas would never talk to him again. 

So he lied and he hooked up with girls and he closed himself off to the people he loved the most. And no one noticed. 

Farkle is knocked out of his thoughts as an arm that decidedly does not belong to Cassidy moves to his torso to pull him closer. He turns immediately in the persons grip and nearly has a heart attack when he’s met with a smirking Lucas Friar, with no shirt on. He has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because Lucas Friar is in his bed and he’s holding him and his hair is a mess and his eyes are barely opened and he still looks so damn perfect and this can’t be real.

He’s still dreaming. He has to be dreaming. 

“Hey,” Lucas rasps and Farkle can’t fight it anymore and pinches his arm. He pinches his arm as hard as he can but Lucas is still there, his arm still looped around him and he’s shivering despite the heat that’s rising through his chest. 

He didn’t. They didn’t. It’s impossible. 

He pinches his arm over and over again. Harder every time but nothing changes. 

He’s had this dream so many times, waking up together, cuddling. But its never felt this real, he has never felt the other boy’s breath against his face or been able to access all his senses. He thinks, he must have done some serious drugs last night before passing out because this feels way too real. And it can’t be. Lucas Friar would never cuddle with a boy. He wouldn’t even cuddle with Riley. He wouldn’t cuddle with anyone. 

“Farkle,” Dream Lucas breathes, placing his hand over the other boys when he doesn’t stop pinching himself. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks in disbelief, not understanding how the pressure of Lucas’ hand covering his feels so real. 

“You don’t remember?” Lucas asks with a frown. And Farkle just shakes his head. This can’t be happening. He did not have sex with Lucas Friar and Lucas isn’t upset at the thought of him not remembering it. He isn’t laying in his bed, with sex hair and no clothes looking better than ever before even after a night of sleeping. This isn’t happening. 

“I, um, what?” Farkle finds himself stuttering out as Lucas brings his hand up to Farkle’s forehead to push his messy hair out of his eyes. 

“Farkle, you’re a smart guy, I’m sure you can put two and two together. It’s pretty clear why I’m hear,” Lucas laughs, his hand moving farther into his hair gripping at the back of his neck causing goose bumps to cover Farkle’s body. He closes his eyes tight, urging himself to wake up but he can feel Lucas’ eyes on him as he bites his lip in concentration. Farkle opens his eyes as Lucas shifts his weight the slightest bit closer to him. 

He doesn’t know what to say. He knows this is a dream, regardless or not if he can wake himself up and as much as he wants to stay laying there with Lucas forever, he can’t indulge, he’s had these dreams enough to know the ecstasy of being with Lucas, isn’t worth the pain of waking up to an empty bed. 

He finds himself gulping as Lucas’s green eyes shift between his eyes and his lips over and over and Farkle almost laughs. Lucas Friar is trying to decide if he wants to kiss him. Dream Lucas, that is. “Now that, that is cleared up can I kiss you?” he questions with a smirk and is leaning in before Farkle even has the chance to give his inevitable yes. When Lucas presses his lips against his its like someone has poured a bucket of water all over him. 

He’s awake. 

And Lucas is still kissing him. He can feel Lucas’ hand move against his scalp as he grips his hair and his soft perfect lips move against his with such ease. He can taste the remnants of alcohol on his tongue and it should be horribly disgusting but Farkle has the same taste in his mouth and he can’t bring himself to care. 

He’s awake. He isn’t dreaming. This is real and Lucas Friar is kissing him. 

And Farkle has made a horrible mistake. 

He pulls away reluctantly, fighting with himself to just keep kissing him, just give in to his feelings for once in his life. But this isn’t right. This isn’t how its supposed to go. Lucas is with Riley. Farkle isn’t going to be that guy. 

“We are terrible people,” Farkle sighs as an answer at Lucas’ questioning glance, his hand still rooted in his hair. He’s pushing him away, almost as a reflex, knowing this can’t end well. Knowing that Monday will come and they will go back to school and into their respective worlds and Farkle isn’t anything more in Lucas’ world than a distant friend. Knowing in the end Lucas will be ripped away and all that will be left is Farkle, alone and cold in an empty bed with an empty heart. Incapable of feeling anything apart from LUCAS LUCAS LUCAS. 

“What do you mean?”

“Riley,” Farkle sighs, his eyes glued to Lucas’ collarbone where a bruise is forming, a bruise Farkle had put there. His hand moves then to the mark without the consent of his brain and he caresses the skin. He did that, he tells himself, not believing his eyes. He keeps his eyes trained on the purple and blue hughes of the skin in an attempt to avoid the older boy’s gaze. He knows if he just looks up, even for a second he’ll convince himself to stay there in their little world where no one can get to them. But he wont. He can’t. He has spent too many years avoiding Lucas’ eyes, he knows he can do it now. “She’s my friend, and your girlfriend and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Farkle, look at me,” Lucas keeps his grip tight in Farkle’s hair and he knows that if he wanted to, Lucas could force his head upward to meet his eyes. Farkle wouldn’t even fight it. But Farkle knows he won’t, that he would never force him to do anything, and Farkle’s heart breaks all the more at the thought. 

“I think you should go,” Farkle forces out, pinching his arm again, this time to keep from looking up into the undeniable eyes a few short inches above his field of vision, almost wishing this was a dream. 

“Farkle,” Lucas practically begs, moving his hand out of the younger boy’s hair and unto his cheek caressing the skin. Farkle’s presses his fingers harder unto the skin of Lucas’ collarbone and the boy doesn’t even flinch, just keeps starring at Farkle urging him to look up. He doesn’t. 

“Please just go,” breathes, voice neutral, free of all the sadness and anger and guilt he feels within him. Lucas brings his hand farther down his face, brushing past his lips unto his neck and he grips there, not hard enough to hurt but a steady presence that Farkle can’t ignore. 

He looks up then, into the eyes of the boy he’s loved for what feels like centuries and he can feel himself slipping, about to give in, about to close his eyes and let Lucas do whatever he wants with him. But he can’t. “Please,” he begs, unsure of what for, torturing himself, as he pushes the boy away, away, away. 

“Farkle, I don’t know what you want from me,” Lucas says, confusion written all over his beautiful features. Farkle forces himself to turn on his back, away from Lucas and his grip. Neither of the boys say anything as Lucas redresses himself. Farkle can feel the boy’s eyes on him but his are closed tight, the ghost of Lucas touch all over his body as he faces the ceiling and the endless array of constellations above his bed. He leaves in silence and Farkle waits until the sound of the elevator outside his room is gone. Then almost as if a switch is flipped he collapses. Rolling in on himself, gripping the pillow Lucas slept on, pulling it close until all he can smell is the musky scent of Lucas’ shampoo and alcohol. 

He cries there. Sad and pathetic.

He stays in his bed the scent of Lucas simultaneously comforting him and ripping him apart for the rest of the weekend. 

…

He spends all of Monday at school avoiding his friends, longing to be back home gripping his pillow, longing for the scent in attempt to keep himself from longing for the boy. 

…

By Tuesday the scent is gone. 

…

On Wednesday he wakes up to five missed calls. One from Riley. One from Cassidy Jacobs. Three from Lucas. He doesn’t listen to his messages. 

…

By Thursday his missed calls have racked up to ten. 

…

By Friday his mail box is full. 

…

Saturday night, he goes to a rival school’s party, knowing there is not chance of running into Lucas there, or any of their friends. He thinks he see’s Lucas five times anyway. He hooks up with three different girls.  
He thinks of Lucas the whole time. 

…

Sunday Morning, he pours Vodka in his coffee, his parents don’t notice. He pukes it up later. 

…

By the next Monday he is itching to be with Lucas again. To think he’d spent years without his touch, his kiss, his skin against his and now after a week he can’t keep himself together. 

…

By Tuesday he is crawling out of his skin. 

…

On Wednesday he see’s Zay and Maya late after school, making out against the lockers. Maya covered in paint, Zay covered in dirt from baseball practise. He wants what they have, he wants it so badly. They don’t see him, but their image plays over in his head on a continuous loop. When he gets home from school he doesn’t cry. He only stares blankly at the ceiling of his living room, unable to lay in the bed tainted with the memory of being with Lucas.

…

On Thursday he makes a mistake. He arrives to school five minutes too early. Early enough to see Riley and Lucas on their way to their first class, holding hands. They see him too. 

Until then he had managed to avoid Lucas almost skillfully. Riley smiles, so kind it hurts Farkle to look at. He forces himself to smile back no matter how hard it is. Farkle tries not to look at Lucas, tries to keep walking past the lovely couple with as little attention brought to him as possible. But the older boy grabs him by the wrist as he walks by, stopping him and Farkle has to use all the will power he possesses to stop himself from leaning into the touch. 

“Farkle,” Lucas begins, his grip tight. Riley standing a step behind them, a line creasing her forehead as she stares at the two. “I need to talk to you,” he breathes, eyes trained intently on Farkle. Farkle holds his breath in attempt not to collapse just by the sheer force of his gaze. 

“Not now,” Farkle speaks attempting to sound demanding but his words turn into pleas as they leave his mouth. Lucas raises his eyebrows, as if to ask, ‘then when?’ but Farkle just shakes his head and tugs his arm out of the older boy’s grasp. He sighs knowing that Lucas could have easily kept his grip on the younger boy if he wanted to. 

As he walks away he can feel his class mate’s stares glued to the back of his head. He keeps his face neutral as if he doesn’t even know their there. That doesn’t stop the rumours. 

Riley Matthews cheating on Lucas Friar with Farkle Minkus. 

It couple, Riley Matthews and Lucas Friar fight over Farkle’s secret feelings for Riley.

Riley, Lucas and Farkle, in a three-way relationship.

All preposterous. All partially true. 

…

 

By one o’clock that afternoon Farkle is going out of his mind. He hasn’t been able to shake the feeling of Lucas’ grip on his wrist, the skin burning with the thought of his friend. The day could not come to an end any faster. 

“Farkle, is it true about you and Riley?” he hears Cassidy Jacobs whisper from her seat behind him. He doesn’t turn around. Her voice making his skin crawl. He quickly excuses himself to the bathroom to avoid her prodding questions. 

He wanders the halls, wasting as much time as possible. 

1 more hour and he can go home. 

1 more hour and he wont have to deal with nosy people like Cassidy that have no idea what they’re even talking about. 

“Farkle,” the voice of his torturer whispers from behind him. He whips his head around to see Lucas, his face blank of all expression. “Come with me,” he demands grabbing the younger boy’s wrist causing Farkle to sigh at the contact feeling as though it had never left. 

He allows himself to be dragged through the empty hallways, into a vacant janitor’s closet. 

“I have class,” he says once the pair are hidden in the closet to fill the empty space.

Farkle see’s Lucas smirk for a fraction of a second, causing him to glare. This was probably funny to Lucas, playing with Farkle’s heart was funny to him.

He begins to turn around to leave their confines and go back to class and pretend he wasn’t completely broken. But Lucas isn’t letting him, he leans forward cupping Farkle’s cheeks in his rough hands and he’s kissing him so fiercely Farkle doesn’t know what to do. 

He feels himself begin to break, to let down all the defenses he had been using to shield himself the past few weeks, as well as the past few years. But before he can Lucas is pulling away, taking three steps back. 

“I’m sorry,” Lucas breathes, touching his fingers to his lips before he starts pacing around the small room. Farkle watches him, crossing his arms over his chest making himself smaller, trying not to think about the relief that had flooded him when Lucas had touched him. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Lucas states, stopping his pacing to look directly at Farkle. “Why?”

“I haven’t,” Farkle whispers in denial, afraid of what he might say if he tells the truth.

Lucas huff out a laugh at the blatant lie and takes a few hesitant steps closer, making the space between them much smaller. He looks between Farkle’s hands and his face multiple times before reaching down and grabbing Farkle’s hands, squeezing his fingers around the younger boy’s palm. Farkle has to supress the smile that inches its way unto his face as he looks down at their intertwined hands, almost forgetting how god damn adorable Lucas was when it came to hand holding. “I wanna be with you,” Lucas whispers, his breathe hitting Farkle face as he speaks. 

“What are you talking about?” he asks his voice breaking as he looks into the eyes of Lucas Friar. 

“Farkle the other night when we were together, the way we were,” he begins, dancing around the word ‘sex’ as he brings their intertwined up to his chest. “I have never felt anything like that before.”

“Lucas,” he sighs feeling the other boys heart beat quicken against the back of his hand. 

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel it too,” Lucas sighs pressing their intertwined hands harder against his chest only emphasizing the quick paced beating of his heart. Farkle keeps his eyes trained on their hands too keep from looking at Lucas, knowing full well he will not be able to resist himself if he catches so much as a glance of the older boys lips. 

They’re too close together, cramped in the small space of the closet, Lucas scent over powering the entirety of the room, if he looks up it will be like every dream he’s ever had. 

“What about Riley?” Farkle asks, changing the subject afraid of what he might say if he begins talking about his feelings. 

“She doesn’t have to know.”

“I’m not going to hurt my friend just to be a part of some fantasy you have,” Farkle practically spits out because this wasn’t a dream, in his dreams he could kiss Lucas all he wanted, he could allow himself to be wanted by him because in his dreams the only person that was hurt was him. But this was real life and these were real people’s feelings at stake. 

“Farkle, this isn’t, you’re not… you’re not a fantasy,” Lucas mumbles letting go of Farkle’s hand to run his hand awkwardly through his hair. Farkle folds his hands together to keep from taking Lucas’ back, it barely works.

“What about everyone else?” He forces himself to say as he melts at the golden boy and his rare stuttering. Farkle won’t allow himself to get lost in the boy in front of him, he won’t swoon at his kind words or fall into his eyes. He wants Lucas, so bad but he doesn’t want to lie to everyone he knows. He’s sick of lying. 

“This isn’t about them,” Lucas states, almost forcefully as he brings his hands up to hold Farkle’s face, forcing Farkle’s wandering gaze to meet his. Farkle doesn’t have it in himself to keep from leaning into the touch of his fingertips against his jaw. 

“Still, Lucas, Riley is- “

“God, Farkle why can’t you think of yourself for once?” Lucas asks, sounding like a yell in the small space between them. He doesn’t leave time for Farkle to answer the question before he’s closing the distance between them crashing their lips together.

Farkle allows himself to be kissed against his better judgements. He is only human and dream or not Farkle didn’t possess the self control it required to deny himself the utter heaven kissing Lucas unleased. He inwardly sighs, relief flooding his senses as he feels Lucas’ tongue brush against his own. He’ll allow himself one minute of bliss, one minute of selfishness. One minute of thinking of himself. One minute of Lucas. 

He shivers as the older boy brushes his fingers underneath the hem of his shirt. He brings his hand up to the back of Lucas’ neck gripping there, keeping himself steady as the other boy moved closer and closer and closer. 

Farkle kisses along Lucas’ neck, being sure to explore every inch of available skin, knowing that after this moment he won’t get the chance again. He knows he can’t leave any marks, he knows people will see but he wants to, god he wants to so bad. Wants to be able to look at him and know, he did that. Lucas lets out a soft moan when Farkle presses his lips against the area where his jaw and neck meet, the angelic sound of his moans is just as good as the pride of marking him would be. 

He moves up along his jaw, swallowing a moan of his own as Lucas’ grip tightens around his hips. Then Lucas is pressing his lips across Farkle’s entire face, firm pecks on his forehead and cheeks and even his nose before he leans into his lips, kissing him slow and hard and hot. 

Once Farkle’s minute is up he nearly cries. 

He doesn’t want to stop. 

He doesn’t want to say no. 

He wants this, so bad, he wants this all the time.

He wants one more minute. He wants thousands more. 

It is almost painful to break the kiss. Turning his head slightly to the side away from Lucas’ is the hardest motion he has ever had to make. He sighs and closes his eyes tight, willing himself to step away, to create space between the two of them but he can’t. Lucas is leaning against his shoulder, gripping his hips and Farkle can’t do it, he’s broken the kiss, but he can’t move away. He tightens his grip around the back of Lucas’ neck where a thin layer of swear is forming and they stand there in the silence of the closet. 

“Farkle,” Lucas breathes against the younger boy’s neck, sending shivers through the entirety of his overheating body “I like you.”

“I don’t believe you,” Farkle sighs his voice breaking, it’s the truest thing he’s said in weeks. For all the time Farkle spent resisting his own feelings he never had a full chance to take in the implications of Lucas’. Lucas wanted to be with him. Lucas Friar was standing in front of him, up against him, telling him he liked him. That was real and Farkle couldn’t believe it to be true. He had dreamed of this moment for years and he spent the entirety of it pushing Lucas away. This was what he always wanted. Why couldn’t he just reach out and grab it? 

He takes a step back, the vulnerability of his words left ringing between them propelling him to finally creating a sliver of space between the two of them. 

Lucas looks at him, in disbelief a line creasing between his eyebrows as he runs his hands through his mussed hair. Farkle can tell the other boy is getting fed up. Farkle understands he’s fed up too. “What do you want- “ 

“And even if you do it doesn’t matter you have a girlfriend,” Farkle speaks cutting off Lucas mid sentence. It doesn’t matter if Farkle believes him or not he has a girlfriend and that is fact. 

“Yeah…”

“So what you have a girlfriend and hook up with me on the side?” Farkle laughs out, the sheer force of it hitting the room at all the wrong angles. There was no happiness in his laugh, no humour, just hurt, hurt masked by sarcasm and an action that represented joy. 

“That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?” Lucas jokes back, a shy smile spread across his face. Farkle just shakes his head. Lucas didn’t like him; he didn’t like him enough to take him seriously. To treat him like a human being and not a secret. 

“Are you kidding me?” Farkle asks, this time going into full hysterics because this was happening. Lucas was asking him to be a secret and he was actually considering going through with it. He was that desperate for Lucas that he would do anything, just to have another minute with him and it was pathetic. Hysterically pathetic. 

“Farkle, please,” Lucas pleads, placing his hand on Farkle’s shoulder to balance him, his eyebrows knitting together in worry as he watches Farkle go from hysterics to a block of ice.

“I’m not gonna be you’re fucking toy,” he bites out, holding on to the last shred of self respect he possessed. 

“That’s not what I’m asking,” Lucas practically cries, placing his hands on either of his shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. Farkle couldn’t look away if he tried. “Farkle, when I’m with you I feel things I can’t even explain. I can’t explain it but I need you. I don’t want this to stop.”

“Lucas,” Farkle begins to protest but he can feel himself melting at the boy’s words, can feel himself giving in to Lucas’ pleas and his own desires. It was only a matter of time. If Lucas wanted him, he would be his for as long as he wanted. 

“Please Farkle, I know its not ideal. I know its not fair to you to treat you like a secret. But I can’t be out, you know, I mean you know how my dad is, and the baseball team and basketball team and we both know no one is going to vote for a gay kid to be class president and Riley, well I’ll tell Riley eventually but for now can this just be our little secret,” Lucas babbles a long run on sentence that makes hardly any sense but it has Farkle sold. He’ll tell Riley. He says he’ll tell Riley and who knows when eventually will be but it’s something. Something for Farkle to cling to, to keep himself from going insane with guilt. 

“You promise you’ll tell her.”

“Yes I promise,” Lucas appeases moving his hands from Farkle’s shoulders, caressing down the length of his arms until both their hands are linked together. 

“Okay.” Farkle gives in, unable to stop the smile forming on his face. 

“Is that a yes? Is that you agreeing?” Lucas asks, almost giddy, shifting on the balls of his feet. 

Farkle doesn’t answer the question, just allows his smile to grow further ignoring the doubts creeping in the back of his mind. Lucas smiles back, that smile that shines so bright it makes Farkle go weak in the knees and he can’t resist the urge he has to lean in to kiss those lips until they’re sore. He almost laughs when he realizes he doesn’t have to. 

He feels Lucas’ smile widen against his mouth as he presses their lips together and this time Farkle does laugh. This is a good thing; he thinks as he feels Lucas’ hands find their way to grip his hair. He’s not going to let himself feel the shame and guilt that’s stirring in his gut, he will ignore it in favour of tending to the need deep within him to be with this boy he loves so dearly. This is a good thing. It might not be exactly what he’s always dreamed it would be but its good and he’s not letting his self pity and eternal need to push people away to ruin it. 

“You should come to my place for dinner tonight,” Lucas requests against Farkle’s lips as they back up against the door of the janitor’s closet.

“Yeah?” Farkle asks, not processing the request as the older boy begins to kiss down his neck. He rolls his head back against the door in pleasure hoping no one hears them. 

“Yeah, my mom misses you like crazy,” he says breaking away from the skin of Farkle’s collar bone just in time to see the boy’s eyes light up at the mention of his mother. 

“Really?” Farkle asks in shock, the image of a kind southern women dressed in a floral apron and a pant suit, that somehow looked completely out of place in the city and completely at home at the same time, filling his brain. Farkle loved Misses Friar almost as much as he loved Lucas. 

“Yeah, she’s been telling me to invite you over for a while now,” Lucas says with a smile, grabbing the younger boys hand in his own, caressing the translucent skin of his wrist, causing Farkle to shiver. 

“How come you never asked?”

“I was scared you’d say no,” Lucas admits, looking down at their intertwined fingers.

“Why would you ever be scared of me?” Farkle asks, forgetting to ponder his words before he says them. He doesn’t know if he really wants to hear the answer.

“Farkle, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but these past few years we haven’t exactly been close,” Lucas says, awkwardly laughing at the statement because that’s all he really can do. Lucas didn’t know why Farkle avoided him all these years and Farkle would do all he could to keep it from him. There is no way Lucas would still want to be anywhere near Farkle if he knew about his five-year crush on him.

“I- uh – I’ve just been- “

“Farkle, I don’t need an explanation,” Lucas says cutting off Farkle mid-ramble, pressing his lips against his in the briefest of kisses. 

“I have to go back to class,” Farkle says to keep himself from crashing his lips back against Lucas’. He has been gone from class for far too long, he doesn’t need more rumours being spread about him. 

“Will I see you later?” Lucas asks, holding tightly unto Farkle’s hand as he begins to turn around to open the door.

“Yes,” Farkle agrees, hiding his smile by busying himself with opening the door and pulling his hand out of Lucas grasp.

“Good.”

As soon as Farkle is out in the hallway away from the tiny space encapsulating him and away from Lucas it all comes crashing back down. 

The shame. 

The guilt. 

The self loathing. 

This wasn’t right. Riley was Lucas girlfriend and weather or not either of them were ready to come out to her or not, going behind her back was not right. Farkle had told himself he wouldn’t give in, he would remain strong and resist Lucas because of this irrefutable wrong they were committing. But the fact of the matter was Lucas wanted to be with him, albeit behind close doors but still he wanted him and it didn’t matter what Farkle thought was right or wrong. He would do anything to get this small piece of Lucas’ affection, he would take what he could get. And the pure heaven of being with him out weighed all the guilt and shame and pity he felt for himself. 

…

Being in Lucas’ apartment brings him back to the seventh grade in almost a heartbeat. He spent the entirety of the subway ride there- pressed against Lucas’ side from shoulder to foot- fearing all the ways the apartment could have changed over the years but nothing has changed at all. 

Every piece of furniture, every picture frame, every book were in the exact same place they were when he had come for dinner almost every night in middle school. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Lucas announces as they enter the apartment, throwing his bag on the floor beside the front door. 

“Really?” Farkle questions, placing his bag beside Lucas’ in a much calmer fashion. He looks up to see Lucas watching him, waiting for him. 

“Come on,” He says signalling towards the doors to the kitchen he’s washed dishes in too many times to count. 

Farkle follows as Lucas leads the way into the brightly lit kitchen. Farkle leans against the counter as Lucas opens a couple of cupboards grabbing glasses and lastly a plate of cookies. Misses Friar’s homemade double chocolate chip cookies. Farkle’s favourite. 

“Those are my- “

“They’re your favourite, I know. Surprise!” Lucas laughs cutting Farkle off. Farkle simply stares at the cookies in disbelief, as Lucas extends his arm to pushing the plate closer to him. Farkle can’t believe Lucas remembered such a small fact after all this time. 

“Well go on, take one,” Lucas urges after Farkle continues to stare at the cookies in shock. “What? Do you want me to feed you or something?” Lucas asks placing the plate down on the counter beside Farkle.

“No- No, I can feed myself,” Farkle laughs as Lucas grabs a cookie bringing it to Farkle’s mouth, shoving it in his face.

“You sure?” Lucas smirks, still holding the cookie up to Farkle’s mouth. 

“Yes,” Farkle urges, taking a bite of anyway as Lucas holds it causing Lucas to laugh. 

“Okay, I’ll get you some milk,” Lucas laughs, letting go of the cookie, before pressing a firm kiss to Farkle’s forehead. 

“Thank you,” Farkle mumbles through mouthfuls of the most delicious cookie he’s ever had. Lucas simply just smirks in response before turning to the fridge to grab the milk. 

Farkle watches him, watches his movements like he always has. Everything the same, yet completely different. 

Farkle had spent so much time over the years hiding his feelings he had forgotten why he had fallen in love with Lucas in the first place. 

Lucas was his best friend and being there with him now he remembered why. When he wasn’t hiding, being with him was the most natural thing in the world. No one made him laugh as much as Lucas did and no one made him feel safe like Lucas did. No one cared about him as much as Lucas. 

Somehow he’d gotten so caught up in hiding and running and pushing that he forgot. 

But now, standing in his kitchen, eating the best chocolate chip cookie in the world while Lucas pours them glasses of milk, he hasn’t forgotten. In this moment it all hits him like a truck. 

Lucas may be different then he once was. He may be different at school, acting though the days the way he’s always been taught to but here, now, he’s just a guy.

A guy who is too good.

A guy who just wants to please everyone.

A guy who along the way, has lost himself.

And Farkle finds himself falling in love all over again.


End file.
